I'm an asshole. I wish I could hire a personal bitch-slapper because I obviously can't keep myself in check.

Is it weird that I think it's hot when guys ride their bikes around campus with their right pant leg rolled up?

fortunately, someone at the concert who had much better seats than me filmed this:


(I want to punch all the drunk people who ruin concerts!)

So just for the hell of it I taped a flower/weed on the door of one of the first people I met in my dorm (who happened to be a guy), and now it's going around on our floor that I have a crush on him. What..? Is this high school? I didn't realize people take things so seriously here. It was just a flower. I guess I'd better think twice before another random act of kindness.

Tuesday after work my roommate called to say she had an extra ticket to a Rob Thomas concert that very night. I've never been enough of a fan to buy tickets, but damn I'm glad I went. He's amazing and inspiring live. (On the other hand, the opening bands, One Republic and Carolina Liar suck terribly live.) I only recognized about half the songs, but I enjoyed them all. Listening to the lyrics of 'Ever the Same' for the first time I immediately thought of my four siblings and our ups and downs. I'm not usually an emotional person, but you know the power of good live music... my eyes may have briefly glazed with tears. :)))))



"Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas
We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you, forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you, forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you, forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you, forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you, forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you, forever in me
Ever the same

It’s so strange to watch people move and realize that their physical behaviors and expressions are all manifestations of something so intangible as the emergent properties of life that when defunct leave an empty body, a mere material object. A person’s physical anatomy conceives his or her identity as a living soul, and once that corporeal body dies, the soul it once warmly sheltered dies. It makes me wonder if what I really want is to capture his soul and entangle it irreversibly with mine or just to feel and see the soft slow movements of his body. It makes me think differently of death, and I'm not sure if I like it.

We took a quick dip in the ocean at night, in spite of the heat lightning.
I'll never forget kissing in his outdoor shower with warm water and cold rain pouring down on us. It's so sweet and perfect, but it's almost over and will never be paralleled!!

GOD sometimes I really don't know what to do with my giddy self!

So I was standing in the surf with some friends when all of the sudden Hell's fire blazes across my foot. Lo and behold, a Portuguese fucking man of war. Its float was barely three inches across and its scraggly pathetic-looking tentacles still managed to leave a huge welt, numbing my foot and sending a cramp through my entire leg. I must have looked dumb as hell limping around with my friends shouting, "Piss on it! Piss on it!" Now, hours later, it feels like a cinder block was dropped on my throbbing foot. AKJHASdkbasd. It feels like karma.

P.S. Huge graduation party Saturday night and I blazed (for the first time in over a year!!) with two strangers new friends in a play house by the sound. I'm gonna miss island parties when I'm at Chapel Hill.